“Every calling or profession has its own characteristic persona… A certain kind of behaviour is forced on them by the world, and professional people endeavour to come up to these expectations. Only, the danger is that they become identical with their personas – the professor with his text-book, the tenor with his voice. Then the damage is done; henceforth he lives exclusively against the background of his own biography… One could say, with a little exaggeration, that the persona is that which in reality one is not, but which oneself as well as others think one is." - Carl Jung, C.W. Vol 9. Part I: Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious
Behind Their Eyes
Whenever I'm at a public space, I always find my attention circles around people's social interactions: their facial expressions, word choice, depth and purposes behind each conversation, and so on. One type of people always appeal to my radar. There are just certain nuances in their character that make me feel they are almost, but not entirely, human. They often remind me of some desperate TikTokers who compell themselves to perform certain roles (such as pick-up artists, pranksters, dancers) solely for the sake of attention. They look into your eyes with such positivity and energy, but you can feel that behind their eyes, there's an abyss of disconnectedness. They bluntly annouce their professions, identities, knowledge, and beliefs, but they pay little regard to their relevance to the current discussion and to the listeners; they appear to listen, but as they respond, you realize they have no idea nor interest in what you just communicated. You can't say that there's something particularly odd in their character, but there lacks a sense of warmth and vividness. It's like they are mechanically re-enacting routines without understanding WHY they are doing it.
While some might refer to them as insincere, self-absorbed, and shallow individuals, I consider the uncanny valley a more accurate portrayal. The term uncanny valley was coined by Japanese roboticist Masahiro Mori, who described it as an eerie, uncomfortable feeling triggered by seeing entities that closely resemble humans, such as androids, dolls, and CGI characters; one possible cause of this phenomenon he proposed was that our survival instinct may sound the alarm when we sense a slight hint of ambiguity in the presentations of such subjects. This might make sense from a biological point of view, since such appearance can be an evidence for a diseased, dysfunctional, manipulated state. Experiencing this uncanny valley makes me wonder, what led to the formation of such social state that make them seem empty and blunted; furthermore, what are the consequences of wearing that stiff social mask?
The Persona and the Self
Keep this in mind as you read-on: the Persona is who you appear to be; the Self is who you actually are.
Shakespear described in As You Like It, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players". Indeed, it is important to first recognize that in our daily life, we all put on various types of "masks" in order to fulfill certain roles and identities. We've all learned this at an early age: there are expectations from our parents, teachers, peers, and society that we must meet; as we grow older, we might realize that sometimes role-switching does resemble how stage performers step into the shoes of different characters. For instance, you often cannot play multiple characters at the same time; instead, the expression of a character is often inhibited/compromised for the sake of another; you might need to become less of a fun friend in order to become a more conscientious student; you might need to become less of a bossy person in order to become an efficient employee; you might need to become less of an introvert in order to become a competent manager. In short, wearing a social mask is accepting the "terms and conditions" of the social world. It is accepting that things cannot always go your way and that you must cooperate and fulfill behavioral patterns that make sense to others.
To further explain the social mask, it's useful to take a look at Carl Jung's idea of the Persona. Jung describes the Persona as the part of your Psyche (your total personality) that forms in response to the demand of the social world. We can think of the Persona as a filter that automatically turns on whenever you are involved in a social situation. When you are at home with your significant other, your Persona as a partner is running; when you are doing grocery shopping, your Persona as a customer is running; when you are working, your Persona as an employee/employer is running. In addition to the role one plays, the Persona also varies depending on how one thinks he/she should appear in a social situation. For instance, in face of a social demand to perform public speaking, one might activate the Persona that incorporates a high sense of humor, while another might equip it with a more scholarly, professional style. In short, as social animals, the Persona is indeed an important part of our psychological construct, since it's often necessary for us to become specialized in different "performances" in response to the social demands from various domains of our lives.
If the Persona is built on "who you appear to be to others", then the Self is the total expression of "who you actually are"; the Self encompasses qualities that you are consciously aware (I am an introvert; I enjoy working out) and ones that you are unconscious about (you have the potential to become an innovative figure in film-making, but you haven't discovered and explored this part of your personality). You might have a clue of where I'm going now. I believe that the key that distinguishes one's "social vibe" from another is largely dependent on the properties (such as transparency, flexibility, and thickness) of the Persona and the depth of the Self that has been discovered and integrated. If one focuses too much on maintaining the Persona without mining the energy from the Self, then he/she becomes a hollow shell who's movements are largerly manipulated by the strings of the social world. This is what gives birth to the unreal, empty, and warmth-lacking vibe that I described earlier. This, is the uncanny valley of the social mask.
The Thickening and Hardening of the Social Mask
In a world where more and more are advocating for "being yourself", and "expressing who you are", we might assume that there is more flexibility to adjusting the transparency of our Persona. However, while this may be partially true, how we approach the social world nowadays does tend to overemphasizes the Persona in some people. Let me give you a real-life example. I have a friend who became a drag queen in Taipei a few years ago. Towards the beginning of his career, there are some noticeable differences between his on-stage and off-stage character: while being super sassy and energetic on-stage, he always switches to a more approachable character as he interacts with people he knows off-stage. However, as he gradually became one of the most iconic drag queens in Taiwan, some interesting changes occurred. All of his social behaviors and verbal expressions had merged into a single form: his stage character. Regardless of what the subject is and who the people are, he socials in a way as if he's hosting a show on stage: constantly making dramatic jokes and displaying his signature laughter every few sentences, wearing attention-robbing outfits everywhere he goes, being extremely touchy when he notices someone attractive and using satire to stab someone he doesn't like. Meaningful conversations seem impossible between us now, since his attention constantly dwells on how to turn every possible moment into an accessory of his stage character. Not surprisingly, every once in a while, he would complain about how lonely he felt and how there was no one he could share intimacy with. This is a classic example of how the Persona of one social domain has taken total control; it has thickened and hardened to a point that it hinders meaningful interpersonal relationships; furthermore, this also portrays the potential consequence it may bring: the obsession of clinging onto that Persona (which would only exacerbate its thickening), and the feeling of isolation and emptiness when you are alone.
Some might argue, "He's simply expressing who he truely is, why would that be a problem?." This brings us to our next point, which describes that over-identifying oneself with the Persona can mask one's vision from harvesting from the Self.
The Creation of the Uncanny Valley: Over-identification with the Persona
Over-identification with the Persona means that you mistaken who you appear to be (to others) with who you actually are. Remember, the Persona only accounts for a PART of your Psyche. It is an appearance/image built upon social expectations. The Self is the core of your actual personality, thoughts, and emotions. If you over-invest in your Persona, your Self becomes deserted. It's like knowing the best makeup skills but not knowing how to perform quality skin care. It's like spraying cologne on a body that reeks of odor; it's like obsessively performing cosmetic surgery on an unhealthy, aging body - you might be able to have that "youth" and "beauty" sewed on your face, but you can't conceal the scream of your flesh behind it; that tension between the two opposite forces is what generate the sense of unnatural, inconsistent presentation.
The consequences of over-identification is not limited to one's eerie social vibe. When you cling on the idea of "______ is who I should appear to be", you habitually display that mask in every social situation; furthermore, you become insecure and defensive when this mask has been threatened or questioned. This is the reason those who over-identify with their Persona seem disconnected: they are so self-absorbed in maintaining a rigid set of features of their Persona that they can't flexibly express characteristics of the Self. In the case of my drag queen friend, as he reached the new height of his career, his idea of who he is became aligned with his Persona: he believed that he should be dominated by that direct, sassy, and humorous character, which had been intensively worshiped on stage. However, he was unable to find fruitful relationship outside of that character because his constant identification with the Persona made him unapproachable. Furthermore, despite being armed with such confidence and fearlessness, when he was alone in his private space (where the light of the Persona becomes deemer), he felt more naked and vulnerable than ever. This conveys the stagnation of one's growth and development when over-investing in the Persona and neglecting the Self. When forces outside of our control shatter our Persona, can we bear to show that ruin of the Self behind it? Imagine, after wearing a Persona of "I'm the star" for many years, what would happen if my drag queen friend finally gets told that his current character is not a good fit?
Our world now often exacerbates the overidentification of the Persona by attributing social appearances to be one's true identity. While there's an increase in propagandizing "embrace who you are (a Self-oriented motive)", we are simultaneously compelled to appeal to or compete for others' attention (a Persona-oriented motive). Social trends now over-emphasize the transactioinal value of "sharing", such as filming, taking pictures, and posting; whenever we see a conflict, our instinct is to start rolling the camera; whenever we see an exquisite dish, attend a social gathering, or go to a concert, it has become our reflex to ponder how to present those moments on social media. Even when we have a private moment to reflect on who we are, we habitually adapt a scope that focuses on how our identity should appear in the presence of others (e.g., How should my application/resume look to the reviewer?). Unfortunately, rarely are we taught HOW to introspectively explore who we are beyond that; neither are we taught how to flexibly adjusts the transparency of our Persona in response to different situations. Instead, we are given all these social labels and their "manual for image maintenance": I am an #entrepreneur, so I shall always emphasize how innovative and insightful I am; I am the #boss, so I shall demonstrate how I am a master of power and dominance; I am a #savage, so I shall display how to kick-ass in every scenario. We have been deduced to an assembly of hashtags and their corresponding costumes. Little do we realize, all these labels that makeup what we so-called "who we are" might only account for one domain of our Persona. Consequently, we worship wearing this skin of "manufactured" individuality; we mechanically generalize this character to all social situations, while neglecting the intrapersonal voices that convey our deeper values. The next thing we know, we've grown the face of an android: responsive and interactive, but cold and distanced.
Cultivating the Self While Acknowledging the Persona
It's inevitable that, in order to remain professional under specific circumstances, we often have to maintain the stability of our Persona. For instance, to ensure all the guests have a wonderful experiences, it was necessary for my drag queen to keep his Persona in check on stage; to close a deal, one must maintain her/his Persona as a desirable business partner. However, when you feel like your are overly dependent on your Persona, it is time for you to do some reflection and exploration. Here are some possible signs of over-identifying with your Persona :
You feel fanatic energy for an identity, to the point that it occupies the majority of your thought and conversations in social settings.
You feel powerful while performing a social role (being at your job, being a parent), but you feel anxious and lonely when you step out of that role.
Your job demands you to constantly maintaining an image for your audience/clients.
You feel deeply offended and become unusually defensive when someone questions your performance of a social role.
We can resolve over-identification by practicing:
Spend more time alone. This is the only time your Persona is retracted, and that your attention can be directed toward the Self.
Instead of simply thinking "my Persona represents who I am", be more specific about the idea of "who I am". Spend time to ask yourself, which PARTS of the Persona might reflect the qualities of the Self that are worth exploring. Furthermore, can those qualities be cultivated into activities that are more Self-oriented? In the case of my drag queen friend, instead of dwelling on the image "I'm the queen that slays the stage", he might realize that "being drawn to beauty and aesthetics" represents one quality of the Self that drives he motivation; with that discovery, he could practice, for example, taking an in-depth learning journey in the art of costume design (while holding the understanding of aesthetics, rather than making costumes to win the audience's cheers, as the primary goal).
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